My Pain is Self Chosen

The whole tattooing experience was surreal. I knew there was going to be pain. As a matter of fact, I talked to a lot of people about the pain.

Some said that you get so psyched about the pain that when you first get "poked," you'll just be saying to yourself "Nah, it ain't that bad.."

Some said that it felt like tiny cutter blades scraping and actually peeling your skin, and then imagine that happening over and over again for more than an hour. Ouch.

The tattoo artist started with the outline of the characters and he used a needle with I think just one or two needle points. He started at the bottom character then worked his way up. It wasn't really that painful at first, however, I wasn't prepared for the shock that my body had to endure. When he was already outlining the second character from the bottom, I felt really lightheaded, my fingers and toes were going numb, my vision was blurring, and although I could still hear what they were saying, I felt my sense of hearing drop off a little. I was this close to passing out. I think that in about 5 seconds or more, I would have. Thankfully, I was able to call time out and asked for a break. They said that I looked extremely pale at that time - my skin was already porcelain white and my lips had absolutely no color. I can laugh about it right now, but that time was almost traumatic. (Actually, Mae Dei was laughing at me the entire time.) Anyway, I before I could totally pass out, I was able to lie down and rest for about 5 to 10 minutes. After I my head cleared up, I went at it again. He finished the outline for all four characters and then proceeded with shading inside the outlines. It is common belief that the tattooing of the outline is actually more painful than the shading. In my case, it was the exact opposite, the shading part was more painful. Way more painful. This time, he was using a needle with like 5 or 6 sharp needle points for the shading. The tattoo artist actually said: "More muscle less pain. More fat more pain." That was so true for me. I felt like the pain was everywhere. I guess one of the things I could be proud of was the reality that I did not pass out. I endured.

I was actually able to finish the entire session with just two more breaks - I had to pick up Seiichi from school and I had to eat something. He asked me at the beginning if I ate a full meal. And I did, just hours before. What I didn't realize was that all my strength will be sapped from my entire being because of the enduring pain. I actually felt hungry just after a few minutes of starting. So I ate bread and pasta in between.

After everything was done, I looked at my tattoo in the mirror and I was so hyped up. I couldn't believe that FINALLY I got a tattoo. I couldn't help myself from doing rockstar hand signs to myself in the mirror. It turned out to be awesome. I like my design. I like the fact that Seiichi's name will be forever part of my body. I like everything about it.

I paid the artist his fee which was 2,500 Pesos and I said to him "Pinakamasayang bayad ko 'to ng 2-5 sa buong buhay ko. Sobrang astig 'eh." We were both happy with how the tattoo turned out and I thanked him for the quality service.

In the end, I was so glad that I paid 2,500 pesos for the tattoo and 800 pesos for our car's tint - and not the other way around.

SE-I-CHI-KO Tats

A week ago, I was talking about the idea that sometimes cheap products are okay, but cheap services are often not. Little did I know that I would be going through this exact line of thought just a few days after. I mean, what better way to prove this point than to get a permanent skin tattoo. (I think I'm the first person to show an analogy between cheap car tints and permanent skin art.)

Anyway, I wanted to get a tattoo as early as college, but I just didn't have the right design in mind that would ultimately tell the story or at least an idea of who and what I am. And quite frankly, the thought of going through an hour or two of excruciating pain scared me.

A couple of months ago I decided on getting a tattoo of Seiichi's name on my arm. Thanks to Roy Rebong and Tara Enrile for their help on the Japanese Katakana symbols - I consider them trusted sources because they've been living in Japan for a good part of their life and they can read and write katakana.

I got my tattoo at the comfort of my own home. The tattoo artist, Engel Lucas, was referred by my good friend, Jobo Cataluna. Jobo had his first tattoo from Engel a few weeks back. This is the part where products versus services come in. The artist's service fee was relatively higher that other tattoo artists. I've seen Jobo's tattoo and I liked it. The black Alibata was very vivid and the way it was drawn was very good. I actually had a lot of choices when it came to whom and from what shop I will get my tattoo from. I was even quoted cheaper services by other shops, but since this is a major, major decision in one's life, I really wanted to be worked on by an artist whose work I have seen first hand and one who is recommended very strongly by his clients. It took almost a month of scheduling and rescheduling between me and the artist. And finally, yesterday, Monday October 6, we both had our schedules free up. The deed was to be done at around afternoon in our house at Village East. He arrived with his friend shortly after 1:00 PM. When I met him, I completely understood what Jobo was saying when he meant: "Okey gumawa ng trabaho yan." and "Madali kausap 'yan." He put me at ease right away and he shared stories of people passing out and peeing in their pants while getting a tattoo. I realize that last sentence may be paradoxical but I got the feeling from this person that he "understood it." He understood the feelings and decisions and spirituality involved in giving something as permanent as a tattoo. (I say "giving" because Engel does not have a single tattoo on himself! He says he has not yet fully visualized the tattoo that will describe him fully as a person. As for me, I totally get that - I liken that to the story about the town with only two barbers. One has a bad haircut and one has a nice haircut. Guess who you'll be choosing to get your haircut from? Exactly.) He also

He had a whole lot of stuff he brought with him - his big tattoo case with different colored inks (I think there may have been around 20 to 30 different color bottles), his two coil tattoo machine with a sort of like voltage regulator and a foot pedal connected to the whole contraption (probably to control the stick and poke of the needles), his needles were in clear plastic containers (that was opened in front of me), he had a lot of tissue paper, a lot of cotton balls, a lot of disposable gloves (for changing in between breaks), and a few liquid sprays that I did not get to ask what they were (he sprayed it on tissue paper he used to clean the skin while doing the tattoo). He also brought a few of his tattoo designs which were pretty amazing by the way.

So anyway, I started with me showing the design I wanted. He asked me beforehand if I already had a design or not. He was probably relieved to find out that I already had one and that I was already decided on it. He said that it usually takes 3 to 4 hours for a person to choose the design and even longer if the client needs to research a design. We printed out different sizes of the 4-character Katakana. After choosing the right scale, he stenciled it on what was probably carbon paper. He cleaned part of my arm with Betadine and alcohol, wiped deodorant material on it (for the outlined stencil to stick), asked me to stand up on my natural pose, pressed the paper on my arm, and "parang magic" the outline of my design was on my arm. The artist told me to look at the mirror and check if the position, scale, and everything else is right before the actual tattooing takes place. He said that we can redo the stencil if necessary. Anyway, I looked at it through the mirror for a couple of minutes, I was checking if everything is in the right place, and it was exactly where I wanted it to be.

Next Up: PAIN

Recent Movies Watched

Eagle Eye - It had a few references to I, Robot but the overall theme was masterfully crafted to something new and fresh, the action sequences were breathtaking, and had more than one of those "holy s#!t" moments, which is enough to make it one of the top ten movies of the year.

War, Inc. - Same old semi-futuristic theme of corporations taking over countries and funding wars for the weapons race. Nothing really worth noting here other than Hillary Duff dancing sexy on a table trying to seduce John Cusack.

Martian Child - I guess since we all have that "loner" gene inside of us and at one time or another we felt no one understood us as kids, most of us can probably relate to this movie. A sobering look at a father and child relationship but really nothing extravagant or more than that.

Nim's Island - An adventure story from two points of view (Jodie Foster and that Little Miss Sunshine kid) with their struggle to meet at Nim's Island and save each other. I was surprised I finished this movie in its entirety. I didn't really expect much so I guess the plot and the script were engaging.